When we were travelling back from Varna to
Ruse after our three-day visit to the seaside, you saw my so-called present diary. In my life, the only time I have ever had a diary, was when I was about 6th
grade and I decided to use a notebook that was given to me as a present long
ago and that had a small padlock to keep away the “intruders” who wanted to
open the doors of my own privacy. A childish thing made just for sale purposes,
but still that little pink notebook was something that was eventually my diary
for a while. I am sure you had such thing, probably given to you as a present
from your parents or a childhood friend. And you (almost) never used it or got
bored easily after writing the cliché “Dear diary…” several times.
Although
I lost trace of this little pink book, I kept writing. On different pieces of paper, in old
notebooks or special pocket books, I kept writing. Not to my diary, not about how my day had gone. I wrote abstract things
about life, about melancholy or joy, sadness, anger and hope, trying to analyze
every little thread of those feelings, trying to see them from the person who I
was inside or from the point of view of another person. Never saying it was about me actually. The people (on the
paper) that felt all those things and lived through all those moments were
never mentioned to be me and I really enjoyed that little privacy I had. The
same feeling you have when you wrap yourself in a blanket and you feel safe
because you are in your blanket, in your
room, in your house, i.e. super-protected. I guess I have always been a
little introverted, but let’s not put so many labels and go to the main point of
this post.
The notebook you saw is actually the
second one that I received from my colleague, the secretary (a corporate
product so to speak – for our clients, alongside other made for advertisement
stuff). It is outdated and for many useless, but for me and for people who like
to write things about work – priceless. I write many things in it, including my
schedule, thoughts and quotes and work related things. So, considering that we
didn’t have so much time in the train back from Varna, I decided to share some
of the wisdom I used to write in that notebook. In moments of despair and tiredness
at work I sometimes read them and they keep me motivated. I hope that you will
enjoy them and understand all of the things I wanted to explain to you in the
train that afternoon.
Starting this section today and after all
the things I wrote above, let me introduce you to a thought by Kurt Vonnegut
that I found really inspiring and motivating me to keep writing these letters in any possible way, just as the two of us decided it in the beginning:
Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
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