Decisions

It took me some time to initiate this, but I shall continue now.

When we created this blog almost three years ago, our main purpose was it to be a place where we share things that usually get lost in the chats and brief conversations we have via Skype. There are so many untold or not quite understood thoughts, especially when we jump from one topic to another. We joked that we may even become famous, and, thankfully, it didn’t happen. Of course we knew that something like our blog couldn’t become a desired place to visit for many people. It was our place, our cozy place where we share parts from our lives that usually pass unnoticed, places we visited or we desire to visit, music we are currently listening to, our dreams, worries, some wisdom and many more. It was done, I believe, with the hope that we won’t lose our connection and communication.

Anyway.

Recently, I noticed that many of the things I share are just left to float here. Like a dustbin, full of thoughts. Useless thoughts. Useless dreams and fears. And our communication really seems to fade away. Not only here - and that’s the bothering part. Because we both know that you’re busy enough to take time and write here. And that’s okay. But when a thing, which was written here, seems to be told in vain during a normal conversation or chat, I ask myself “Was it even worth it to share, when they pretend to listen? ”. So, that makes everything written here useless.

I am not the type to say directly what’s exactly bothering me on the Internet; usually the person I care about has to find this by themselves in all the metaphors and hints I give. To read between the lines. It’s not done on purpose; it’s just the way I communicate sometimes. Some people never reflect on the way they speak during the day. Unfortunately, sensitive people like me do this. And it’s not only the self-reflection, but also a reflection of other people’s words. And when a person I care about doesn’t understand, especially when we are far from each other, I feel really disappointed, but decide to keep it for myself. Complicated, right? It wouldn’t be like that if we were face to face, the conversation would be different and simple.

Well, distance s*cks, because it really spoils our communication. Nothing can be compared with real-life experiences shared with your best friend. And distance sometimes really f*cks everything. All these innovations do not help the way we feel about a cherished person, they make it even worse, because of all the misunderstandings, unseen texts or songs that aren’t even listened to, forgotten important facts, etc., which build our everyday communication, or in fact – destroy the trust in the people you are close to.

Of course this blog post doesn’t search for the guilty person or even the victim, none of this  – it is just a couple of paragraphs with thoughts that aim to be seen by just one person. My friend.  

So, back to the topic - I am taking a little break from this place. At first, the decision was only regarding the music posts (because they seem to be not so interesting for you), but then I decided that it would be okay to stop posting here at all. It won’t affect our blog in a bad way, because we rarely post here and except us, there aren’t other people who wish to read our stories. More important is to continue our connection in one way or another and if the blog can’t be counted as a good way to communicate, then we should better abandon this practice.

It’s not the end. There will be some posts, maybe some wisdom during a rainy Wednesday, but when – I do not know. I won’t stop writing, of course, but it won’t appear here – perhaps my best listeners are my notebooks.

Bye for now.

R.